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Posts Tagged ‘life’

Butter garlic v/s sweet and sour. Which tastes better??? 

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All of us dream of a perfect relationship with a perfect person and the perfect time of being together. But strange, how this magical dream of an unlucky few get strangled in the test of time. When we think of relationships, the first word that synonyms with that seems to be forever. But do all relationships last forever? Does a chewing gum taste the same forever?

Relationships have often been compared with a chewing gum. That chewing gum could be a classy, expensive one or a cheap unwrapped gum. The ultimate fate of all is the same.

Well, to start off, chewing is sweet and delectable in the beginning. It fills your mouth with flavor and gives you an added satisfaction. That is also how a relationship begins. This is the stage where the guy tries to woo the girl filling her up with mouthful of saccharine phrases. To go with it come his million efforts to impress her with his acts of kindness and all the good qualities man has ever been gifted with. My relationship too began in the same sort. The guy who tried wooing me was by far the cutest guy in our class. He would talk charming, walk charming and be charming. I sometimes used to wonder what good had he seen in me: an atypical average looking girl. He seemed sweet and caring; someone who was not perturbed by my weird antics.

This is how most relationships begin. But one month gone and our seemingly perfect relationship were molded to changes. It is probably that part of the chewing gum when the sweetness declines, reminisces of which remains in the semi-solid, sticky mass.

My guy now seemed to be just a little less caring. But I was okay with it. He betrayed me once or twice, but I pretty much brushed it off. I resorted mostly to the ruins of the sweetness than to the bothering stickiness.

But it didn’t take me long to diagnose my guy with multiple personality disorder (This is something not diagnosed by any qualified psychiatric but me. And it wasn’t a withdrawal symptom either. Nor did it comprise of schrezophrenia or him being Tom once and Jerry next.) He had mood swings. He was a different person in recess. And totally different by the time school got over. Girls are usually blamed for having a two faced mindset; something which boys would term as incomprehensible. But of course, we are the ones with hystera; and hence hysteric. Now, how long could a relationship with two hysteric people last?

The last stage: no sweetness, all that you are left with is a rubbery mass of edible gum. Everything changed: his priorities, his behavior, and his character. And he still wouldn’t tell me what was wrong? He probably wanted me to play Sherlock and probe into his mindset. But not everyone is a psychic. The guy I had once know seemed to have been faded. It seemed as though he was suffocated around me, as though he wanted to run away but I held him with my shackles. This is something I didn’t dream of. This is not something I wanted it to be.

So I did what was right and what seemed just.  You can try to mend your strings. You can try to tie them up. But if the other half burns them down when you’re just halfway done, you can’t help but throw away the strings and search for fresh ones. People might write songs and odes to love but this love is not something which should put your dignity at stake. People are recognized for their self-esteem and self worth. Not for the love of their life. Relationships might be tested with changes. But that does not mean that the ones involved too succumb to changes. I say, respect and love yourself first. And then, you will love your partner even more. This is much better than hopelessly running after a person who wouldn’t care.

The comparison though seems debatable at times. For we see people starting off and ending with the same love, the same respect and the same care. Probably they started off with candies and not chewing gums…

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Dreams

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It takes days, months and even years to build a dream. But it takes just one fatal moment to crash it all. Yet the ones to stick to their dreams, are the ones who win.

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It’s funny how cold coffee can help you get rid of the heat.

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“Not everybody deserves a second chance…especially not love. It’s like watching a movie all over again when you already know it’s ending.”

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When you walked into my life

it felt like a dream

only to be crushed in ruins

when you left it astir.

But now when the wounds have healed,

now over is the battle within,

There echoes just one voice,

of forgiveness but forbidden chances for thee.

 

 

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Don’t consider disappointments as curses but as hurdles set by God to test your belief in HIM.

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An excerpt from my debut novel, New Dawn:

Dear N.B.,

 Good to find you recovering from this tribulation. This is just a nightmare from which you will convalesce and then don yourself with the same “I-will-kill-you-I.D.” coat. And don’t assume I am lying but as I went through your experience at your grandma’s, I had no idea how as an impulse my eyes filled with water. I can now actually feel the way you dealt with those days.

 You dreaming of your uncle was really emotively tetchy. I guess it is your love that brought you both together in your dream. And just like your uncle’s words, always try to make others happy, make them smile and laugh (including me).

 Your situation made me muse a lot, lot about love these days. Love-a feeling which even though has a designation in the dictionary, can never be expressed with words. This irresistible feeling which I could never clarify, never understand fully (I still have a long way to go I mean…c’mon I’m just 14).

 But people do say that there’s no age to fall in love. Plus, once you attain puberty, you have no control over your hormones- be it growth or gonadotrophins. So probably that isn’t really false. Plus, who said that “fall in love” refers to true love only (maybe it does but mostly in movies). There are many other “love”s available, for instance puppy love which is none but infatuation and you are never too young to be a victim of this. Take my case. I had my first crush when I was an eighth grader (later part of it) a year and half after attainment of puberty.

 I had my first crush in my Chemistry tuition classes. I was never interested in any of the guys available there but this fellow was a new comer. He joined our session mid-term.

It was his first day. Co-incidentally, I was early to my classes, earlier than usual.  As I passed through the main gate, my eyes fell on a fair, thin structure who stood in the corridor. I neared him. He looked at me. We shared glances, then I made my way to the classroom. That’s how I saw him for the first time. I left him unnoticed until my chum, Naina whispered in my ear: “That new boy…did you see him? His smile is so cute”

I dismissed her statement with “C’mon stop starring at him”

 

And needless to say, she did stop starring at him until I had started. That very day, when our classes got over and everybody moved out of the room, Naina and I stayed back to clarify our doubts. The new boy too stayed behind to pay his monthly fee. Our doubts were over fifteen minutes later, till then, the new boy waited near the doorway patiently for us to be done.

“Look at him! Look at him!” Naina cried a panicky, tugging my shoulders as we walked across him.

 

I gave a closer look at his features: tall but thin, fairer than the other guys, dark eyes with high cheek bones, unruffled hair and an evergreen smile on his rose- pink lips. I began observing him. Eventually, I started finding his smile or rather him cute. I decided to have a talk with him, much against my “I-don’t-talk-to-guys” ritual. Probably I wouldn’t have succeeded in my goal had it not been for organic and inorganic chemistry. Naina and I had some doubts regarding the bonding of the functional groups and so did the newbee; not exactly that but some doubts regarding structural formulae.

 

 Naina and I were done soon and waited outside the classroom for our sir. New guy came out and left without any stoppage, not even his doubt partner. I gave Naina a jerk to get her out of her trance as she stood mesmerized by the new bee’s smile. Yeah it’s cute but not that cute…but it’s cute.

‘Bye sir’ she bade on behalf of both of us and we rushed down. New guy was waiting at the resting on the first floor. Prone to his behavior, he stood timidly-as if still debating whether to walk or not.

“Organic chemistry’s cool right?” I said as I took the first step.

“Yeah. Specially the structural formulae” Naina matched.

I glanced at the new dude as he stood behind us.

“What’s your name?” Can’t believe I just did.

“Ro…” he replied.

I could feel my heartbeat acceleration. And as an impulse, my face turned hot.

‘Actually it’s Rohan Aditya Kashyap. But my friends call me Ro so you can call me Ro’ he explained with a grin…a cute grin. So, I was his friend.

By then Naina had fled from the spot, leaving me at the mercy of ‘Ro’.

I tried to flee too.

‘What’s your name?’ it was his turn now

That was probably the first time I had conversed so well with a nutcase. My infatuation increased. However, I knew that all that was going through was just nothing but the action of hormones and its result was a crush. Occasionally, we would talk. Sometimes just a cordial “hi” or “hello”. And sometimes even more. In the mean time, people had started spreading rumors about Rohan liking me and him staring at me during lessons.

I was a little taken aback and wrathful at the thought of being liked by a boy. But a part of me felt okay. Teenage fancy, you see. Gossips had it that Ro was even preparing for a proposal. He had asked someone about my basic instincts and tempers over Facebook and my friends circle was more than gay with the buzz…

– New Dawn, Lets talk about LOVE.

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