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Archive for the ‘Emotional’ Category

 Tell me a story 

Where we last

We don’t hold on 

With fragile threads .

Tell me a story 

Where we don’t end up 

Hurting each other 

In our egoistic ways. 

Tell me a story 

Where you love me 

And I don’t have to resort 

In a hopeless delusion of love. 

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I wished for the raindrops

To fall on my face

Drench my eyes

And cover up my tears.

 

For it all felt the same

The night we were

That clouded night

When the sky wasn’t starry.

 

And we both awaited

The music to our dance

With puddles beneath us,

We twirled,

Sashaying ourselves

With the rain that fell.

 

Now as I smell the earth,

Watch the sky lighten with thunder,

All I can think of is you

And the promises that weren’t true.

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Love makes us vulnerable…yes, you read it right. Even though texts say the opposite, but with sound mind and whole heart I say, love makes us vulnerable. It makes us vulnerable enough to search for happiness in him; to get jealous when we see him enjoying without us; to make every waking moment about him, and only him. It makes us vulnerable enough to get insecure by people who you know are far less than your approach; elude sleep just coz you noticed a slight change in his behaviour. And the worst of all, it makes us vulnerable to such an extent that the thought of him leaving us, throwing us out of his life sends chills down our spines. And if that is to say, then what is it that keeps love going and defining its strength…

…It is the promises made, and the many words said and actions committed to held high one’s promise; it is the million fights fought and reconciliations made that keeps it fresh and it is the trust that gives its strength.

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Every time you hug me, it feels the same like the first time, warm and safe. 

And isn’t it strange how we forget everything else when we stand together that close… 

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Remember the evening,

5th of October,

We watched the sun

Set by the waves.

And as the ocean stroke

Against the infinite horizon,

An enigmatic music echoed,

Began my new poetry.

 

Another month later,

By the snowy pines,

We watched the snowflakes

Rosettes and dendrites.

And as the leaves stroke,

Your hand brushed against mine,

I fumbled words

As you smiled.

 

And from winter came spring,

Breathing lives

To the sleepy and snowed,

I heard the music loud and clear,

And of my poem,

Three verses were near.

 

Then last night

I wrote one too,

By your bed side,

Watching you sleep,

As I silently whispered,

My confessions unheard.

 

Now I stand,

With tear drops

Under the rain.

With the clutter ended

My music abrupt.

But did my poetry?

 

And by your grave,

With my confessions unheard,

You still remain

My incomplete poetry.

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There’s this thing about love: it plays around possibilities. The possibilities being: it can take you to cloud nine; it can make you feel special, often as though you were the only one existing on earth and it can also hurt. And when it hurts, it’s almost akin to being left at the Mariana Trench with boulders tied to your feet. What are funny are the transitions. Well, do you believe in phases? Love is a phase. It can last for as short as a day or infinity.

 

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All of us dream of a perfect relationship with a perfect person and the perfect time of being together. But strange, how this magical dream of an unlucky few get strangled in the test of time. When we think of relationships, the first word that synonyms with that seems to be forever. But do all relationships last forever? Does a chewing gum taste the same forever?

Relationships have often been compared with a chewing gum. That chewing gum could be a classy, expensive one or a cheap unwrapped gum. The ultimate fate of all is the same.

Well, to start off, chewing is sweet and delectable in the beginning. It fills your mouth with flavor and gives you an added satisfaction. That is also how a relationship begins. This is the stage where the guy tries to woo the girl filling her up with mouthful of saccharine phrases. To go with it come his million efforts to impress her with his acts of kindness and all the good qualities man has ever been gifted with. My relationship too began in the same sort. The guy who tried wooing me was by far the cutest guy in our class. He would talk charming, walk charming and be charming. I sometimes used to wonder what good had he seen in me: an atypical average looking girl. He seemed sweet and caring; someone who was not perturbed by my weird antics.

This is how most relationships begin. But one month gone and our seemingly perfect relationship were molded to changes. It is probably that part of the chewing gum when the sweetness declines, reminisces of which remains in the semi-solid, sticky mass.

My guy now seemed to be just a little less caring. But I was okay with it. He betrayed me once or twice, but I pretty much brushed it off. I resorted mostly to the ruins of the sweetness than to the bothering stickiness.

But it didn’t take me long to diagnose my guy with multiple personality disorder (This is something not diagnosed by any qualified psychiatric but me. And it wasn’t a withdrawal symptom either. Nor did it comprise of schrezophrenia or him being Tom once and Jerry next.) He had mood swings. He was a different person in recess. And totally different by the time school got over. Girls are usually blamed for having a two faced mindset; something which boys would term as incomprehensible. But of course, we are the ones with hystera; and hence hysteric. Now, how long could a relationship with two hysteric people last?

The last stage: no sweetness, all that you are left with is a rubbery mass of edible gum. Everything changed: his priorities, his behavior, and his character. And he still wouldn’t tell me what was wrong? He probably wanted me to play Sherlock and probe into his mindset. But not everyone is a psychic. The guy I had once know seemed to have been faded. It seemed as though he was suffocated around me, as though he wanted to run away but I held him with my shackles. This is something I didn’t dream of. This is not something I wanted it to be.

So I did what was right and what seemed just.  You can try to mend your strings. You can try to tie them up. But if the other half burns them down when you’re just halfway done, you can’t help but throw away the strings and search for fresh ones. People might write songs and odes to love but this love is not something which should put your dignity at stake. People are recognized for their self-esteem and self worth. Not for the love of their life. Relationships might be tested with changes. But that does not mean that the ones involved too succumb to changes. I say, respect and love yourself first. And then, you will love your partner even more. This is much better than hopelessly running after a person who wouldn’t care.

The comparison though seems debatable at times. For we see people starting off and ending with the same love, the same respect and the same care. Probably they started off with candies and not chewing gums…

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